Luckily, I made tiny notes everyday on my calendar so remembering things is a breeze! (Which I totally recommend, if not an actual calendar check out the app Day One)
Looking back I'm glad to say that my resolutions of #NoFear2013, #OneSmallStep2013, and #SeizeTheDay2013 lasted throughout the year and motivated me to take more chances and live a happier, fulfilled life. I've gotten to meet some amazing people, try new things, travel to awesome places, realize a few dreams, and gain a better understanding of myself. I wouldn't change a thing about the last 365 days and can only hope that the next 365 will be even better. I have a resolution to add to the mix, #SelfAware2014...This is a promise to not be afraid to be myself (the whole self) at any time. To be aware of moments where I am at risk of dulling my shine for someone else's sake. There have been so many messages appearing in society to be yourself ("Let It Go", "Firework", "Born This Way", etc.),and not that I haven't listened to it before, I'm just willing to take it one step further. And I'm challenging any one reading this as well...Let yourself go...be crazy...be vulnerable...be upset (but don't dwell on it)...Don't do it for others, but do it for yourself! Wishing you a happy and prosperous 2014!
0 Comments
In April of this year I was selected by the Trevor Project (a national suicide prevention program) to help bring their new "Ask For Help" campaign to life (more information can be found here).
We as a society should also embrace people we see going through difficult times instead of just writing them off or labeling them "soft" or "weak" because even though we may not understand the entire situation, sometimes a simple gesture of support/sympathy can make all the difference. This is something I couldn't be more proud to support and think that more people should know that it is okay to reach out for support from loved ones or even the help of lifelines, like Trevor Project, instead of dealing with things by themselves. To view the final shot, check under "Reels" link... I sat down at my computer today, bored from staring at my Twitter and Facebook feeds, so I looked up videos on TED. After about 3 videos on different subjects, I came across this video (see below) on "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brené Brown. About 5 minutes into the video, I was glued to my computer screen. She was speaking on the topic of humanity's desire to belong and make connections with others, and somehow managed to tie fear into her discourse. So taking a page from her book, I will discuss her video and better explain the overall goal of #NoFear2013. Brown's research revolves around the theme of connection and how connections with others make people happy. But there are some road blocks: SHAME and FEAR. Both of these emotions put the thought into our minds that "we are unworthy of connection" (love, career, family, friends). Shame and fear prevent people from living whole heartedly and their their full potential. She then describes a study she did on a group of "seemingly happy" people and realized that their happiness stemmed from the same sources: Courage, Compassion, Connection (as a result of authenticity), and Vulnerability. COURAGE (from Latin root word 'cor' (heart)) originally meant: to tell the story of who you are with whole heart. Sort of makes you think about the Cowardly Lion from Wizard of Oz right? No, just me...Moving on! Courage is different than being brave, which #NoFear2013 does call upon us to be, but I believe it takes more effort to be courageous. To stand up in front of people and let them know that you are not perfect is both a terrifying and powerful thing. COMPASSION is needed not only for those around you, but for yourself as well. You have the courage to admit your shortcomings, now is not the time to beat yourself up about them either. We have to practice compassion on ourselves if we expect to know how to show it to others. This kind of thinking is what #OneSmallStep2013 reinforces. "I'm not [xyz] but I am where I am today, and that's just as good!" CONNECTION with other people brings along a feeling of belonging and a sense of worth. We all long to connect with others and do so based on so many different aspects of our lives (gender, music preference, jobs, etc.). When we put our true selves on display (discussed in my last blog post), the chances to make meaningful, lasting connections with others greatly increase. VULNERABILITY is a necessary component to happiness. Although it is necessary, it is by no means easy. Our willingness to take a risk, or say "I love you" first, or anything else to put ourselves in an uncomfortable position must be welcomed into our lives. Vulnerability is the root of fear, but only when we face it head on can we banish fear. Facing our vulnerability and its related emotions can be more than some can handle, which leads to the process of numbing. Our society numbs our emotions in various ways, food, shopping, drugs. The immediate goal of blocking the fear or sadness that accompanies a state of vulnerability is achieved but comes at a much bigger cost. We cannot selectively numb just our negative emotions, so we inadvertently numb joy, gratitude, and happiness in the process. Now that we know what it takes to live a happier life,
Remember, feeling vulnerability and all the emotions that accompany it means that you are alive! “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” I have accepted this mantra of living ever since I could remember. This has probably led me unable to decide when someone is being authentic or fake, but I do not mind. What this belief system does is enable me to practice the art of acceptance. Someone once described me as "a polite dinner guest who accepts whatever is put in front of him". I personally do not believe it is a bad thing at all. What is wrong with that? I guess it makes me come off as naive, but I would rather be perceived as naive than rude asking what other food is left in the pantry. I feel that people open up and expose their real selves to others when they feel most comfortable. So, as a Libra, that is something I strive to do best. I try to be my authentic self with every person I meet, even if they are not that way with me. Why? Well, how can I possibly expect someone to bring out their true selves if I don't meet them halfway? That doesn't seem fair now does it? I am not saying I lay out all my skeletons within the first five minutes, I just try to open my closet a little wider. (What is it with gays and closets?) Some people choose not to be so truthful with others and put on a front to hide themselves. To each their own, but I choose not to hide because I find it harder to wear and maintain a mask then be upfront and true. If some people are not cool with it, then they are not the guests that I want over for my dinner parties. (It always comes back to food) Remember, patience is a virtue and we must employ it when it comes to people showing us who they really are. For most, it takes some time to warm up to someone and let their guard down. When it happens at the right time it can be a wonderful thing. If it happens to early, it has a tendency to go differently then anticipated. I try not to put undesired pressure on people or pry into their lives, I trust and BELIEVE that when a person is ready to show me the real them, it will be the right time. BUT, I will say this... There is nothing that a little acceptance and patience cannot do for human race. Who knew that opening myself up would lead to so many others doing the same? I certainly did not, but I am glad I know it now. Enjoy the song that kind of inspired this blog entry... "The way to develop self-confidence is to do the thing you fear and get a record of successful experiences behind you." - William Jennings Bryan Over the last three days I went on three different auditions, and learned something from each one. But that isn't the point of this blog entry.
I'm sure that we have all been in a situation where we feel our stomach drop into our bowels and ready to explode out our poop chute. That was me on the eve before my audition weekend. I was beyond nervous and was given some great advice by my friend, Dan Reckard. "You gotta go in there with confidence, even if you don't know what the hell you are doing." (Coming from a jazz musician's perspective) "You can be the best trumpet player in the world, but if you don't give the audience a glimpse of the confidence in yourself, they won't be confident in you." BAM! Those words hit close to home. Which lead to this blog post. What is more important, confidence or technique? One can be the best singer at an audition, but lack the level of confidence to be great. On the contrary, the singer who makes a few mistakes but goes through their audition with the utmost confidence, their performance moves from good to fantastic. Confidence is something that when truly displayed (not in a cocky, conceited manner) overshadows the telltale signs of fear and doubt. There is nothing more attractive and engaging to watch then a person with confidence. There comes a time when you have to pull confidence out of your ass, but not let anyone know that's where you got it from (or maybe you do). Not only can it help out in auditions, but in many different aspects of our lives. Take note in your life where fear is present and arm yourself with confidence. Confidence can be the greatest enemy of fear. “If you want to conquer the anxiety of life, live in the moment, live in the breath.” Do you ever have that feeling when you approach a situation and your stomach feels like it has dropped into your feet?
That's anxiety. I've been feeling a lot of it recently and, although it's a feeling of unease, I welcome it into my life. Going along with No Fear 2013, I changed my perspective on anxiety. I figure that if I take a "negative" in my life and turn it to a "positive" that I can harness the energy it brings to make more positive energy in my life. I find that if a situation brings me feelings of anxiousness, the only solution to alleviate them is to change the situation. This change could be anything from moving forward, taking a step back, or anything in between (applicable to the situation). Anxiety is a part of life that I am using to motivate me everyday and recommend this change of thinking to any and every person struggling with anxiety that prevents them from doing something. Instead of having an anxiety attack, think of it as a "motivation attack". It's crazy to believe that 2012 has come and is leaving us so soon. I feel like I just started to get to know it. Oh well! This just means that it's on to bigger and brighter futures. Before I begin, this post needs a little backstory...
Once upon a time (Dec 31, 2011) I decided to make a NY resolution to not be afraid to go after the things I want in life. We've all been there right? "I would totally audition for that show, but I'm afraid I won't be what they are looking for..." Or my personal favorite, "I would totally ask that person out on a date, if I weren't afraid of them laughing in my face when I do it!" Tired and fed up about it I decided enough was enough. I decided to not let Fear be the ultimate factor in my decision making. So I vowed to not be afraid any longer. END OF BACKSTORY I will admit, it's the ONLY resolution in my entire life I've kept for the entire course of a year. Not only that, I discovered that Fear presented itself in so many different aspects of my life that it was actually holding me back not only from my dreams, but some simple daily activities as well. Once I made the decision to not be afraid, I can honestly say my entire outlook on life shifted. I have taken bigger risks and opened myself to a wide range of possibilities and that can only expand from here. So now I'm embarking on another No Fear (from now on referred to as NF) resolution this time with a couple of additions. One of my best friends and I are taking the well known Latin phrase, "Carpe Diem" and applying it to all 365 days of 2013. This does not mean we are to satisfy our delusions of grandeur everyday (but whose to say we won't). Rather we are to make every day matter and (as he put it) "be aware that we aren't just being lazy bums all day". So now we have NF and CD (or STD if you will) but WAIT THERE'S MORE! Another good friend of mine and I were inspired by "The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step". Signing up for the dance class, going on that audition, learning a new skill. Too often we focus on the big goals and get discouraged on the journey. We have decided to take pride in our little "achievements" that get us closer to our dreams. So there you have it. My mindset for 2013: Seize the day everyday without fear as I take the small steps toward my dreams. #NoFear2013 #CarpeDiem2013 #OneSmallStep2013 |
Archives
June 2019
Categories
All
|